Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Love, Giant Cricket

There comes a time in every caregivers life when they have to deal with the inevitable (and often irrational) fright of a child. Garbage Trucks (Ga-Hup!), Vacuum Cleaners, Storms, Fireworks, Weird photoshopped pictures of aye-aye owls... I could go on for ages about those horrible and scary things that terrify Bratling. The newest trend has leaned towards insects, one in particular will send my dear whelp into fits of terror induced shrieks (my ears shall never recover). Crickets.


Yes, one of the most harmless bugs we have around here and she screams at even the idea that they are near her. I know what must be done. I must nip this fear in the bud just as I did for the other grubby, giant bugs of the past.

Yes there was another bug she feared. They don't come around very often: the Cicada
Yes yes messy downstairs, I didn't finish cleaning it at that point.

Bratling didn't know what to think of those either, heck, she was downright scared of those big, loud bugs that had swarmed our suburbs. Needless to say before they were all gone I took the liberty to indoctrenate Whelp that those harmless giants were cool. Which they are.

See? happy kid.

I'm used to these quirky frights by now. Every new one that pops up I get rid of it in a process that reminds me of whack-a-mole. Nail one, another pops up. Every time I do so however, it is always in the insanest, most unorthodox ways. Because normal coping skills are boring.

For the vacuum I turned it on and popped that sucking nozzle right on the kid. Upon seeing that she wasn't going to get "eaten" she was cool with it from then on. The Aye-aye owl? Printed up a picture of it, hung it up in plain view of her bed and let Bratling take her course. Sure enough, she was dragging that picture around up until she got it just too messy to keep (I so should have saved that picture, darn it.). I'm taking the same route with the crickets. I found the biggest, groadiest, fattest, grubby cricket picture I could find. Printed it, autographed it "Giant Cricket", and tossed it in the front of her backpack for Kindergarten. Now if I write a post about a teacher kicking me in my nonexistent nads, you'll know why.

I'm going to be printing out more and repeating the process until crickets don't bug her anymore, and yes; that pun was intentional. :P

Friday, September 19, 2008

Country Rib Crock and Carpet Cleaning

Bratling had her fun today pouring our powdered carpet freshener all over the place. I mean it, all over. On her Mama's work uniform, the kitchen floor, the stairs, the couch with a potato... No you didn't hear wrong. A potato was put right there on the couch and then had powdered carpet freshener poured on top. I can only fathom the reason to be something like this:


She got her just desserts for the act of recreating something out of "the family circus" all over the house. Sure enough Brat got to vacuum everything up and even then some. Hey, the stairs were needing it anyways! Then I finished up on dinner. It was fantastic by the way and so as promised, here's the recipe.


Country Rib Crock

2 1/2 lbs of country ribs
4 onions about fist sized
1 bag baby carrots
3 medium potatoes
4 cloves of garlic
2 tbs beef bullion (or to taste)
3 cubes of chicken bullion
add pepper to taste
3 tbs of corn starch
1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 packet of onion soup mix
1 tbs garlic powder
2 16 oz packages of gnocchi dumplings

1. Cut up the country ribs (keep the bones if you have any to add for flavoring), 2 of the onions, and the 3 potatoes all into chunks roughly the same size then add them to a four quart crock. Chop the garlic small and add it as well

2. Add the bag of baby carrots, the beef and chicken bullion, onion soup packet, garlic powder, and pepper then mix everything up.

3. Add water until the top of your mixture is just covered and turn the crock on high.

4. Wait 11 to 12 hours.

5. Drain the broth into a separate pot and keep the mixture of meat and vegetables in the crock, remove any bones at this point, turn the flame on medium high then chop 1 onion and add the can of condensed cream of mushroom soup. Allow broth to come to a boil, being sure to whisk the mixture to ensure the soup breaks apart and allow the onion to cook.

6. Add the cornstarch and stir until the broth thickens into a gravy (feel free to add more or less depending on your preference.) Return the gravy to the crock and stir with the meat and vegetables to evenly coat.

7. Start preparing final onion by chopping it and adding it to a frying pan to saute and begin making the gnocchi according to the package's instructions.

8. Once gnocchi are complete, drain, then add them to the sauteed onions and cook them for an additional minute or two until the onions are done to preference, being sure to mix the gnocchi and the onions up. Add garlic powder to taste, mix it one final time and enjoy!

It's a simple to make meal that I started right before bed and completed on time for dinner. It'll probably be best on the second night, assuming it lasts that long. Around here it's almost all gone already. It reminds me sort of like a pot roast dinner, which is very pleasant.

Hair Cuts and Crock Pots

Let me introduce my niece, whom I lovingly call, Bratling. She is five, recently started kindergarten, very clever, tomboyish, and has a penchant for getting into mischief the likes we child-rearing types shudder over.


Because of her being the way she is, things have been placed around this house higher and higher up in a frantic race to keep them out of "the reach zone". You know the zone; that place where kids can get their hands on things you'd rather they don't touch. Bratling has come up with numerous ways to thwart our efforts of keeping some things sacred and forbidden by doing everything from climbing to knocking things done with her longer toys. Tonight she reached one of the forbidden and like any child who has something we don't want her to use... Used it with abandon. My father's scissors to be exact.

Right after bedtime she went into action. Bratling went into the bathroom to do the nightly tinkle and climbed the toilet to get to the shelf. While me and my father were both on the computers and not thinking of the trip as anything more than the usual go in, go, and go back to bed routine as usual we didn't get suspicious until two warning signs alerted us.

It was quiet.

Brat was in the bathroom for too long.

It was my dad who called to Bratling and asked her what she was doing where upon she quickly toddled out and went straight to bed without skipping a beat. That made me suspicious and sure enough when I went in there I spotted on the floor something that most definitely didn't belong there. Locks of Brat's hair. I was in denial at first, leaning over and picking up the pieces of hair and looking at them before bringing them over to my dad. From there I woke up the kid, brushed out her hair (something that produced one final large lock of hair) and looked at the damage.

It was hard to notice, most of her snipping was done in the front and another in the back. I told her we should go to the salon and get her hair cut to the shortest length she made. With a cry she exclaimed, "No! I don't want my hair cut! I like my long hair!"

Gotta love the logic in kids.

I'm squirreling the locks of hair away, just like I have on all her other hair cutting incidents. I don't know why, I just feel like it'd be a darn shame to waste them. Someday I'm going to make jewelry pieces to be given to the females of our family with them. I think it'd make a cute sentimental gift. I'll be sure to post the project up when I do go out and get it done.

Speaking of projects. I'm improvising dinner. Country ribs with vegitables slow cooked in a crock with gnocci dumplings for tonight. You'll get the recipe once I try it out tonight.


Hello, I'm the Unmarried Housewife; a gal that lives in a house with her parents, her sister, and a niece whom I raise like my own. Welcome to my blog, a random collection of events and stories of my life. Here you'll get an assortment of everything under the sun that adds some interest to my life. Expect art, recipes, and stories of life at home when you're young and restless.